Until We Bleed
by vironica nightshadow
Summary: Squeal to Stay. Bella has to watch Edward make nothing of his life and do nothing about it...until the veil between the living and dead is dropped. Will she do the right thing or not? Based on the song 'Until we bleed' by Kleerup feat. Lykke Li.


**Alright, I am hoping this gets rid of my stupid block so I can write some more of 'Just Give Me a Reason'. If you have read 'Stay' then this is a squeal. I recommend you read that first because this wont make sense if you don't. I have a block because something happened last week. Two of my friends were in a bad four-wheeling accident. It was depressing. They are both okay and out of the hospital. I will be going to see them tomorrow. So that's great! Plus school has been kicking my butt. Especially Health.**

**Anyways, if you want, ignore my ramblings and read on! Oh and this story is based off of 'Until We Bleed' by Kleerup feat. Lykke Li.**

**Bella's pov**

I sighed. It had been 5 months since I died. He still hadn't gotten any better. I'm glad he restarted to hunt...after some persuasion from his family. He was a total wreck after I passed. I wished I could communicate with him. Tell him its fine. I okay. I have dealt with being dead for good. Now he has to deal with it.

I watched him get up from his piano, that he hadn't touched in 5 months, get ready, thanks to Alice, go to school, thanks to Esme, come home, thanks to Rosalie's choice words, and sit there, thanks to himself. The hunt every few weeks.

"She's dead. I know that it hurts you but you need to let go!" Rosalie yelled at him. "It isn't healthy!"

"Since when did being a vampire ever mean becoming 'healthy', Rosalie?" He snorted, humorously while I sat next to him watching it all go down with tears welled in my eyes.

"Come on, Edward. In a way you know she's right." I whispered even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

"You know what I mean." She growled through her teeth.

"No, actually Rosalie I don't know what you mean." Edward growled back.

I looked away and place my head in my hands. I never wanted this. When I left he was supposed to need his family now more then ever but its all screwed up. He is drifting and he wasn't going to realize it until it was too late.

"Esme is too worried." Rosalie snarled. "Because of you!"  
"Tell her not to." He said simply.  
"Yes because that will be as easy as draining the Mississippi up with a straw." Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "What about Tanya? She's nice."

"It wouldn't be fair." Edward shook his head.  
"To Bella? Because knowing her, she'd want you to be happy."

"I couldn't love Tanya." Edward sighed.

"No I think you could, Edward. I just think your afraid of change." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You know what? Forget it." She said stomping out of the room.

"God, I wished you'd be happy." I swallowed staring at his face.

"I can't be happy without you." As if he were answering me.

I closed my eyes and appeared in a human-free house that Lexi and I had taken up residence in for awhile.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Lexi patted my arm sympathetically.

"Its fine." I shook my head even though it wasn't fine and she knew it.

This had been going since I died and it wasn't getting any better. He couldn't move on and let go. It was like a pit bull who had sank its teeth in a piece of meat. It wasn't going to let go.

As much as I hate to admit it, he was hurting everyone around him. Including me.

I felt a pull and it wasn't Edwards. It was Damon's. A thrill of joy shot through me. It had been weeks since Damon had summoned me. Of course he really didn't know I was there. He could only guess. He'd hallucinate conversations with me just so he'd have something to do. Especially when he was drunk.

"I'll see you later." I told Lexi and she gave me an encouraging smile while nodding.

Damon summoning me means he wants to see me even though I am not alive. I can see him but its not the other way around. I can feel those feelings and that's probably one of the worst things. You get to watch your loved ones mourn you and make mistakes while they do so. There is nothing you can do about it, sadly. The other side is no party.

Lexi has a theory though. Its that once we die and make it to the other side, that we pay for our mistakes by being invisible to the living. Once we are done paying for our mistakes, we find peace. I can't find peace if Edward can't. Lexi cant if I don't. Its a chain reaction.

I'm not asking Edward to start having one night stands and party until midnight. What I am asking for is that he...reconnects with his family. That he doesn't forget me but still feels like he has _something_ to look forward to during the day. Even if it is another woman. Alright, that one did hurt but as long as he was happy, I was.

I finally found where Damon was. He was still in the Salvatore Boarding house. I thought that once I died that he would've left Forks. Left Washington even. He didn't. He and Stefan stayed. They visited my grave often. Cried at it with a liquor bottle in their hand. It hurt me but they were together. A bond stronger than before. So in a way me dying was good. It helped my brother rebuild their relationship.

"Bella. If you are here then move something." He said.

I frowned. What? He never asked me to do anything like that. I grabbed a book from the shelf in the living room and dropped it on the ground. He looked over. His eyes were on me. They met mine for the slightest fraction but left. He didn't know if I was right there exactly.

"Bonnie is lifting the veil." He stared at the book. What? "The veil between the other side and the mortal world." He added.

I furrowed my eyebrows. He took out his phone.

"Here. If you have a question then type it in."

I pressed on the keys.

'So I will be able to be in the living world? You'll see me?' I got over excited.

"Yes." He answers.

'For how long?' I typed in.

"I don't know." He said.

I breathed. It was luck. I would see my family once again. Maybe not for long but that didn't matter. I'd get to tell Edward what I needed to face to face.

"Anything else?"

'Yes, I seen what you did on that couch 2 months ago which is something that no person should ever have to see especially when its their brother that's involved. And you owe me another Persian rug. NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!'

He laughed. "Even in death you still scold me."

I held back a laugh.

"I've missed you, Bell." He added. "I love you."

'Love you too, Damon. Tell Stefan I love him too. Forever and always.' I typed in before closing the phone, knowing that was the end of our conversation for now.

"See you tomorrow little sister." He smiled.

I felt giddy to be alive again.

I went 'home' to tell Lexi of my information.

I went to check on Edward before I retired for the night. Again he just sat there at his piano. Everyone in the house looked depressed. He still sat there. That's it.

"Come on, Edward!" I yelled at the top of my lungs knowing that wasn't going to do anything.

I sighed. "I never meant to hurt you just as you never meant to hurt me but its time you stop mourning me and move along."

I blinked back tears and breathed through my nose.

"This is it Bell! We return to the living!" Lexi jumped in excitement. There were no booze on the other side and she planned to get heavily drunk during our time around the living.

"Do you know how weird this is? We should write a book about this. Who else gets to say they returned to life?"

"For a short period." I corrected her as we waited.

She glared. "Dont be such a downer!"

I rolled my eyes. I felt a surge go through me. That had to be it. Theres only one way to find out. I touched the door knob to the Salvatore Boarding house, sighing slightly before turning it. We could physically touch objects obviously but not people or any living things. I mean we could, they just wouldn't feel it.

"Bella!" Caroline rushed into my arms.

"Hey, Car." I smiled and kissed her cheek.

"I missed you so much." She shedded tears. I wiped them away as best I could.

"I know." I laughed lightly. "I'm so proud of you for your self-control. You graduating high school. Congrats." I grinned, still wiping tears away.

"Dont hog her!" Bonnie exclaimed. I moved through each one until I reached my brothers. I ran to hug them both.

"I'm especially proud of both you. Thank you for keeping your promise." I whispered.

"Anything, Bells." Stefan said.

"I hope you both don't mind but I have someone I need to see." I commented.

They nodded. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

I raced out of the house and towards the Cullens.

"You know you should really get a new hobby." I advised Edward as I stood behind his slouched form at the piano. His head snapped up. He stared at me with a confused expression and soon it turned to joy. He raced to me and hugged me to his body.

"I can feel you. I missed you." He whispered, kissing my face. I smiled at the feeling of love that fused into my blood stream. "I'm hallucinating a good hallucination."

"Your not hallucinating." I laughed lightly.

"Then I'm in Heaven?" He asked.

"None of the above." I answer.

"Then how else can you be here?"

"I'm really here. Thanks to magic." I run my hand through his hair. He looks confused. "Bonnie raised the veil between the living and dead. Not the smartest thing she could have done but I'm sure she had her reasons."

"I love you." He whispers against my skin.

"As I love you." I repeat. "Come on. Lets go say hi to your family."

He groaned as I pulled him into the living room.

"Bella?"  
"How?"

They all wore a shocked expression. Alice yelled and jumped toward me.

"I don't care how your here, I am just glad you are!"

"So you beat death?" Emmet joked and I smiled.

"Not exactly Emmet. I'm here on a limited time."

The smiles were replaced with frowns.

"How long?" Edward's voice broke.

"No time will ever be enough. You and I both know that. I don't how long but I do know I wont have long because I am not the only dead person that got through the veil. Not the only one that had unfinished business. I'm just lucky Kol hadn't found me yet." I try to joke it off but I snap my mouth shut when I let the Kol thing slip.

Kol has had a thing for me since forever. Since we are both on the other side, I can see how Edward would be upset by this information but I didn't go for Kol before we met, which might I mention was centuries ago, why would I go for him now? I remained pure and unblemished.

"Yes." I mumbled. "I haven't ran into him. Thank God." I breathed.

"So how are you here?" Carlisle asked, intrigued.

"Bonnie opened the veil. Now no supernatural creäture dies forever. We come back until the veil is sealed again." I answered.

"Why?" Rosalie questioned.  
"I have no idea. I haven't been...paying attention to the rest of my friends." I smiled sheepishly.

"Very helpful." Rosalie murmured but the comment was ignored.

I was glad to be among the living. Especially around the Cullens.

The rest of the Cullens went hunting as planned that left Edward and I alone for which I was grateful for. I still needed to talk to him. Explain to him. Make him see it through my point of view.

Right now we were walking around the Cullens mansion with our intertwined hands between us.

"So Tanya?" I smile and nudge his shoulder. Option 1 for him moving on. Him finding a new love.

"She's nice. Just not for me." Edward rolled his eyes.

"How do you know if you wont try?" I ask.

"I know what I want." He looked me in the eyes. "Since I can't have it. I might as well not even try. Plus your always going to be right beside me. I don't want you to watch me be with anyone other then you." He kissed the hand that was tangled into his.

"As torture as that would be, you'd be happy. Your family would be happy. They wouldn't have to constantly worry about you. That's all I have ever wanted for you. That and for you to not be so...hopeless." I answered with a sad smile.

"I can't." Edward shook his head.

"If the situation was switched, would you want me to be sulking at a piano for the rest of my life?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, no but that is completely different." He tried to reason with me.

"I don't see how. I love you just as much as you love me. Maybe even more. Unless you are going to go all sexist on me. Or say that I dont love you as much." I accused.

"You couldn't ever know how much I love you." He whispered. "Its just, I can't be with anyone else. Its just...impossible." He shrugged.

"You shouldn't have to be alone." I watched as he studied the painting in the hallway that had been there forever. It was beautiful. You could find just about every color on the spectrum on in it. They seemed to blend together as one. Exquisite but not famous. It was done by Esme. She was an interior designer but she dabbled in painting.

"I'm not." He said.

"You can't feel me, see me. I am dead." He flinched at that one. "And your pushing your family away. In the next few years, who are you going to have then? I am not saying you have to find another love. I am saying that you need to come out of the shell and enjoy the time you with your family." I sighed look down at out fingers.

"What about you?" He asked.

"I'm dead. I wander around and watch my loved ones make mistakes." He seemed to flinch every time I said 'dead'."Just because I am where I am doesn't mean you can give up. I am there for all the sins I've completed. To pay for them. That and why would they want a monster in Heaven? That's not why they made Heaven. Its a sanctuary for the good."

"'Even in death, your heart remains pure'." He quoted what Emily Bennet said to me the night after I drank from a human and made my first kill which would follow by thousands of more.

"I don't think that will get me into to Heaven." I said. I heard the phone start to ring. Edward answered it.

"Okay. Can't she hold it for any longer?"

After a few seconds. He answered with "I understand" before hanging up. He moved away and went to sit on the couch while hiding his face in his hands.

"Edward." I whispered and moved next to him.

"You only have hours left." He said but didn't look up.

"That gives me enough time then. I need you to move on." I said.

"No." He whispered stubbornly.

"You need to move on." I pushed.

"No." He whispered again.

"You need to move on. You can't keep loving a ghost just as your family can't keep loving a shell." I shook my head.

"No." His voice broke this time.

"I'm not saying forget me just be happy. Don't pull your family through something that they dont deserve. Please. For me." I added before kissing his lips roughly. He responded instantly, gripping my hair. I did the same and his arms went around my waist and moved up my back before returning to my legs. He spreaded them and hoisted me up. Racing up the stairs and into his room, he placed me on the bed.

Pulling back, he gave me a look. "Are you sure?" He asked.

"More sure then anything." I smiled, encouraging him to love me.

It was slow and sweet. I didn't regret it. I never would. I wasn't sure how long I had left with him. He hummed my lullaby as he held me tightly. It seemed that time was frozen. I wished it was but reality would hit us soon. I could tell that much. This act bounded us forever. I gave him my virginity just as he gave me his.

"I love you." He whispered.

"Just as I love you." I answered softly.

"I don't want you to go." He said.

"I don't want to go but that's how things are. I'm sorry." I smiled softly up at him.

"I wish they weren't." Edward kissed my head.

"Me too." I agreed.

Finally after a few more minutes, we got up and got dressed.

"We don't have much time." I said. I could feel the pull of the other side, it was getting stronger by the minute. "So promise me you'll make an effort?"

He hesitated.

"Please. I can't find peace if you can't." I added.

He nodded and I smiled. I kissed his lips softly.

"I love you." I said.

"As I love you." He repeated.

In that moment, I was gone. Well, to him I was. I couldn't feel him just as he couldn't feel me.

I let a tear pass through the borders before returning to the empty residence where a drunk Lexi met me.

She greeted me before laying down on a white sheet covered couch. He blonde hair slightly messed up and she reeked of booze. I smiled, I probably didn't look any better than her, and smelt of Edward.

I laid down on the couch across from her's and closed my eyes. Dreaming of Edward allowed me to feel some sort of peace.

A month passed before Tanya showed up into Edward's life. I could see some kind of love forming. So could Edward. It just wasn't as strong as the love that Edward and I shared. Everyone knew that. I am pretty sure Tanya did too.

She was sweet and she adored him. I knew she was loyal and practically bowed down to his feet. She bent over backwards just to make him happy. She loved him and gave him everything she had. Even when she knew he couldn't do the same.

"You did the right thing." Lexi said from next to me as we watched the Cullens play baseball. Emmett was up to bat.

"I know. At first I wondered if I did because I never knew that the right thing could hurt so much." My voice broke slightly. "Now, I know I did." My voice grew strong even when I watched Edward place a kiss on Tanya's lips.

"You are always going to be bound to him in a way that Tanya can't be. You'll be his first love. An epic love. First love's are _never_ forgotten." She smiled at me. I rested my head on her shoulder as a lump found its way into my throat.

She was right. Her words were comforting.

We returned to the still empty residence after the game. Emmett, Alice, Edward and Esme won the game.

I sensed a presence. It wasn't living either. I looked at Lexi and she nodded. We were going to corner it. Whatever it was.

Running inside we were on either side of the woman.

"I wouldn't do that." She said in a beautiful soft voice. We dropped to the ground in pain, clutching our heads.

The pain vanished but the imprint was still there. I looked up to see if the woman was anyone I knew. Nope. Her skin was perfectly tanned. Her dark hair was curled around her face. She was barefoot but wearing a strapless black sun dress with simple wooden beads around her neck.

"Hello. I am sorry but you really should have given me time to introduce myself." Her tone was disapproving.

"Well remember that next time." Lexi groaned in pain.

"I am Qetsyiah. And you must be the famous Isabella Salvatore and Alexia Brandon. The two vampires burdened by consciences."

**The End of that short story. I am hoping to figure out what I want to do with this story. And hoping its only going to be a trilogy so expect another short story. This was a blur of the moment writing.**

**When I wrote 'Stay', I never anticipated that I would be writing a sequel. So I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Review!**


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